I don’t know that much about basketball and I probably will lose an argument with anything to do with sports, but I am very familiar with 5th grade coaching strategies. Coaching the Miami heat is the easiest job in the NBA and Spoelstra couldn’t coach himself out of a cardboard box.
Watch the Heat play and see if you notice the following things:
1) When they start a play, Lebron and whoever’s at the top of the key will awkwardly pass the ball back and forth five or six times before commencing any real action.
2) Once they are done playing hot potato, one of the non-superstars (Chalmers or Battier) will try to set up a pick only to find out that they don’t know how to. Sally from my 5th grade P.E class knew how to set up a pick.
3) When hot potato and epic fail pick time is over, one of the three super stars (Wade, Lebron, or Bosh) will try one of two things. They either try to single-handlely run straight at the basket against four players and try to score or get fouled. Or they will try to take a half court 3-point fade-away jumper and fall backwards 20 yards.
4) If none of the above happens, Wade will get the ball, dribble, dive backwards 20 feet and shoot the ball straight up in the air, all while flying. Whether he makes the basket or not, it looks like a scene from a bad Kung-foo movie every time.
5) While this is all happening WATCH CLOSELY. NO ONE ON THE TEAM IS MOVING OR HELPING THE BALL. EVER. If you look for it, you’ll see it. I would get mad at announcers for not saying anything about it, but since it is their job to talk about what is happening on the court, they are succeeding. Nothing is happening.
In conclusion here is the Maimi Heat Coaching Strategy lain out for everyone to understand:
GIVE THE BALL TO LEBRON OR WAYDE AND THEN CLOSE YOUR EYES, STAND STILL, AND PRAY.
I am for Lebron and I hope he wins the Championship because I believe his talent deserves to be recognized as one of the greats, but I hate his coach. He wouldn’t bug me so much if he didn’t pretend like he is why they are winning. If I were Speolstra, I would put on my shades, grab a strawberry-bananana margarita, and lounge on the bench. At least then the world could see what is actually happening behind the scenes.
(I also hate Derrick Fisher. Ya he might have experience etc., but what does he really do on the court?)
Snipplery 